The Misadventures of Matt
by Kaze Kimizu
Summary: As long as I have summer left, there will be more Misadventures. Because what says "It is 4 AM!" better than a bunch of crazy fanfics? Matt in his Wammy days.
1. And the Digitally Deprived Dungeon

**Author's Note:** So, I pretty much just wrote this because I felt like I haven't been doing enough to stimulate my mind this summer. I wanted to do something productive before going to bed. And, like Matt, I will do ANYTHING to avoid doing what I NEED to do...like sleep. Procrastinators unite! ...tomorrow. Heh. Anyway, here's a little something to keep you guys entertained until I finish transcribing the last conversation for the latest update of Game Over. (Yes, the new chapter is almost finished. For realz.) As for this story, it's cute and much tamer than my usual stuff. Enjoy! Onward!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Death Note. If I did, Matt would get his own spinoff series. Probably called "The Misadventures of Matt."

**Warning:** Mild cursing.

* * *

The echoing halls of Wammy's House called to him, but Matt was stuck in his room.

Specifically, he was grounded. No video games, no television, no computer, no playing outside. Four days of missed homework sat in a pile on his desk as a sour reminder of his punishment. He sat in the window of his room, staring outside into the midday scene below. Happy children frolicked in a field, kicking balls, throwing sticks, and building replicas of the world's greatest architectural structures. It was a typical spring day.

But the poor redhead was banned from participating due to his slacking schoolwork.

He didn't even like going outside that much. But anywhere was better than a room without video games. His fingers ached for the buttons of his Game Boy. He swore he could still see the imprint of the A Button in his thumb. He longed for the tinny electronic music that blared from small speakers at all hours of the day and night. It was a soothing lullaby to his brilliant mind, and without its consistency, he was going stir-crazy.

He hadn't meant to miss four days of homework. He just didn't feel like doing it. He kept finding excuses to skip out on it. First, he had to finish the latest Gym leader. Once he managed that, he had to eat dinner. After dinner, he really did need to clean the battery pack. And one more Gym leader couldn't hurt. But by that time, it was so late that he couldn't possibly concentrate to do any homework. Then again, you didn't need to concentrate very hard to beat just _one more_ Gym leader...

And the pattern continued to repeat itself until he was on the verge of the Elite Four, and his teachers were very unhappy.

He sighed, pushing his goggles onto his forehead and rubbing his eyes. It had been three hours, twenty-nine minutes, sixteen seconds since he had his Game Boy confiscated. Three hours, twenty-three minutes, forty-one seconds since his door was locked for the afternoon. Two hours, twelve minutes, nineteen seconds until someone would come to let him out for dinner.

It was going to be a long afternoon.

His fingers ached for something to do.

He glanced briefly at the homework. The top page was an entire page of practice with the quadratic formula. It wasn't hard work; just boring, mundane, no challenge at all. He wanted strategy. Monotony was not Matt's forte.

First problem. X-squared, minus four X, plus five, equal to zero. He didn't even have to think the full way through. Matt learned the quadratic formula before he had lost all his baby teeth. The problems were so mind-numbingly dull that he could not concentrate on them for more than a minute. Writing out the entire process of solving each equation was agonizingly boring.

He wanted something more interesting to do with his time. He would have greatly preferred a sheet of differential equations. While also mind-numbingly simple, they at least spoke in a language he used often. With his extensive knowledge in computer science, an equation like that would be welcome. It could open up the windows to a breakthrough in a program.

His fingers itched for a keyboard. They gripped the chewed wooden pencil on his desk instead.

He wrote down the answers to the quadratic formula problems. He skipped the steps to reach each answer. In the margins of his paper, he began to scrawl in computer script. By the time he had finished, his homework held the key to a program that randomized the seating assignment in the classroom every other Tuesday.

He set the paper aside and reached for his next page of homework. English Grammar. _Shit._

He slapped the stack of papers to the ground, frustrated at his misfortune. He felt like he was caged in a technologically-deprived prison. The most high-tech piece of equipment in the room was a basic solar-powered calculator that had no settings other than "On" and "Off." He snatched up the English sheet and folded it into a paper airplane, scrawling a message on the wing.

"Need salvation. Stuck in C-5. Homework Hell. - M"

He opened his window and flung it as hard as he could, watching it sail across the field until the wind caught it and pushed it past Matt's view. He groaned and slumped down against the wall, prepared to wait another painfully mundane hour for the glorious bells of dinner to signal his thirty-minute release before being put back in his digitally-deprived dungeon.

A knock at the door made him jump, slamming his head against the wall accidentally. He growled softly, rubbing his head and cursing under his breath. A piece of crumpled paper was pushed under his door.

He crossed the room and picked it up, bursting into laughter when his mind registered what he was seeing. It was the English homework that he had thrown out the window. Under his message, someone had written, "Got you covered. You owe me. Work your ass off. - M."

On the front, the person had drawn a replica of a Pokémon Gym. The English fill-in-the-blanks were drawn into traps or trainers, and the end of the page showed an evil looking Boss with several bird-like Pokémon at his feet.

Matt grinned, sitting down against the door. He could hear the other person sitting down in the hallway on the other side of the door.

"So," Matt asked loudly enough for the other person to hear, "Think you can come up with a few more of these? I'm four days behind and totally grounded until they're finished."

"Depends," replied the voice, "Got any chocolate?"


	2. And the Crafty Candy Caper

**Author's Note:** So, I kind of do like this series. And it has evolved past a oneshot. I don't know why, but these cute little tales are just so fun to write! (Especially when Game Over is so dramatastic.) Expect several more installments of The Misadventures of Matt. What are you waiting for? Onward!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note. If I owned Death Note, I'd have enough money to build an airship.

**Warning:** Mild swearing.

* * *

Matt had a serious problem.

There was a thief on the loose at Wammy's House. And he was targeting Matt's room.

Long after the homework incident had blown over, Matt noticed that his door would be cracked open when he came back from classes. Upon inspection, he noticed that his stash of junk food had become seriously depleted in the wake of the break-ins.

Matt felt the need to investigate this heinous crime. It was, after all, his allowance that bought the now-stolen treats.

He quickly devised a trap to set for the candy-stealer so that he could catch the culprit. Using a few ink pens and a can of keyboard duster, he rigged up an ink system so that anyone who opened his candy drawer was instantly blasted with a shower of blue ink.

Confident that this brilliant trap would be enough to keep his candy stash safe, he left for class humming the Mario theme song.

Seven grueling hours and two quizzes later, Matt rushed back to his room to see if the trap had worked. The door was slightly ajar, just like usual. He began to feel nearly giddy as he flung the candy drawer open…

…only to be met with a spray of blue ink aimed directly at his bewildered face.

Two hours later, a very unamused and blue-tinted Matt furiously scrubbed at the ink blotches on his goggles. Several boys made snarky comments about his cobalt complexion at dinner, earning him the nickname "Smurf" for the night.

A better plan to capture this thief was necessary.

The next morning, the gamer decided to feign illness and stay in bed all day. That way, he would notice for sure when someone snuck into his room. He settled into bed with his Game Boy, twisting over and pretending to fall asleep every time Roger or one of the nurse's aides came to check in on him. One annoying aide insisted on watching him for a few minutes, patting his forehead to check for fever, tucking the sheets around his shoulders, and staying far too long in his room. Before he knew it, he had fallen asleep while waiting for the woman to leave.

He dreamed that Mega Man and Sonic the Hedgehog teamed up with him to catch Bowser in the act of stealing his chocolate bars. The dream ended with Bowser fueling a rocket ship with Gatorade to launch the candy into outer space.

Utterly confused and slightly disoriented, Matt woke up to discover that his door was slightly cracked and the drawer containing his few remaining chocolate bars was wide open. One of the bars had vanished.

That night, the children of Wammy's House swore they heard a banshee screaming a most ungodly screech.

As soon as the sun rose the next morning, Matt devised a new strategy to capture the candy-nabbing crook. He would pretend to go to class, then slip out in the middle and check on his candy stash. If a class was particularly chaotic, he would spend the entire class period hiding under his bed to wait for the evildoer to come around.

The plan worked perfectly for his first class. The teacher was busy sorting through paperwork, and his classmates were all focused on their busywork assignments. He asked for a bathroom slip and ran back to his room, diligently keeping guard on his candy stash. When the bell for his second class sounded, he slid into the very back of the room as usual. He tried to slip out when the teacher wasn't looking, but was soon escorted back to his seat and given an extra sheet of homework for his attempt.

The afternoon flew by, and Matt took every opportunity he could to slide under his bed and wait for the guilty party to raid the candy drawer. The bell began to sound for his final class of the day, but Matt was absolutely certain that the chocolate-thieving jerk would show up any minute. He decided that he wouldn't _really_ be missed in sixth period…

He lay on his belly, peeking from underneath his bed. The clock on the desk tick-tocked noisily, reminding the gamer how boring it was to wait for someone who may or may not show up. He had just begun to daydream about Princess Peach when the door to his room slowly creaked open.

He held his breath, narrowing his eyes at the black boots that clunked across the floor. Just as the assailant reached down to open the drawer, Matt's hand shot out from under the bed and wrapped around the person's ankle.

Both boys let out a yelp as the thief tumbled to the ground, dragging Matt out from his hiding place. They lay dazed in a pile on the floor for a moment before Matt leapt to his feet.

"You! Who the hell are you?" He growled, pointing his finger in what he hoped was a menacing fashion.

The other kid sat up, tucking a delicate strand of blonde hair behind his ear. He arched an eyebrow, leaning against the wall nonchalantly.

"Your savior," he said. "I told you that you owed me."

Matt's hand fell to his side. He stared at the other kid, momentarily dumbfounded. "So, you're M?"

"Mello, actually," the blonde smirked. "Do you mind? I need to get back to study hall."

"Let me get this straight," Matt held up four fingers. "Your name is Mello. You're the jerk that's been stealing my candy. You're skipping class to steal my stuff. And you've been stealing my candy because you drew some cool shit on my homework? Have I missed anything?"

"Yeah," Mello yawned lazily, standing up and grabbing a chocolate bar from Matt's desk. "I don't steal your candy. I steal your _chocolate_. Your peppermints are safe."

"They're _ancient!_" Matt raised his voice a little. "I spent good money on that chocolate!"

"And it's good chocolate, too," Mello grinned, snapping off a piece.

"I can't believe you!" Matt yelled. "How do you explain to your teacher that you're skipping their class to come steal chocolate from some poor defenseless boy?"

"I tell her I have to take a piss," he laughed. "Though, it usually doesn't take this long. Guess I'll have to tell her I had to take a shit instead."

"…You're unbelievable," Matt sighed. "Fine. Steal all my damn chocolate. I don't care. I'm not buying any more when it's gone."

"Sure you will," Mello shrugged. "You'll want me to come back."

"And why the hell would I want you to come back?" Matt glared.

"Because I keep your life interesting." Mello winked, turning toward the door. "You can't wait to see what happens next!"

As Matt watched the boy leave, he couldn't help but laugh. Mello was right. Mello's casual appearance in his life really had kept him entertained for several days. He waited a few minutes before following the boy into the hall.

"Hey," he called to the blonde's back. "Next time you steal my chocolate, do it after class. I challenge you to a video game tournament. Winner buys the loser a whole bag of chocolate bars."


End file.
